


Timelines

by AnjuHime



Series: Timelines [1]
Category: Topp Dogg (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-17
Updated: 2017-02-05
Packaged: 2018-04-26 21:03:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5020462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnjuHime/pseuds/AnjuHime
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everything is connected. Everylife, every thought, every step you take towards your dreams. We're all connected by wires, threads, strings. The red ones are the most important, but you can't see them, right? Maybe you don't even know about them. But they exist. In more than just one lifetime.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> My first serious fanfic!?? Please, have some patience with me. I'll try to make this worth it.  
> This was born out of some stories and ideas between me and my gf... let's see if this can go somewhere from here.
> 
> It may take a while to update, I'm sorry, but I have no idea how to write a fanfic and I'll doubt myself a lot and stop trying at some times.

**Hey. Do you believe in legends and myths? Maybe you should, maybe not... be careful with your choices**

 

 

* * *

  
 

_Hey there._

 

Do you believe in stories? In _myths_ and legends?

 

I’m sure that at some point in our life, we do. Don’t you agree? The _monster_ under your bed, the fear of getting out of the bed after you turn off the light, the eyes that follow you everywhere… we all feel it, right? But they’re _just monsters_ , legends, myths. Some real, others not, but who am I to make you believe in that?

 

I am _me_. And that’s _enough_.

 

Have you ever heard about the _red string of fate_? That japanese stuff about being connected to your soulmate through a red string that goes beyond _time_ and _space_? Don’t you _believe_ in that too?

 

_What if you could see it?_

 

What if you could find and know? Know about your past lives, your soulmate, about everything, in a world continuous, through time and space, never ending, but always finding each other time and time again. Would you like to know that?

 

Would it be easier if you knew? You could find your soulmate as soon as possible and live happy with them. It would be great, don’t you think?

 

_But that would be an happy ending, right?_ And you know… of course you know! Everyone knows how much our life likes to fuck us up. _It just can’t happen that easily._

 

No matter how many stories we read, how many happy endings we see in movies and books, we’ll hardly have one ourselves. It would be too easy, too fast, too… well… _not fun at all, right?_ I mean… if you do believe there’s someone doing something out there. Planning your life, writing your destiny, throwing some shit at you… you know… that stuff some people believe in, right?

 

The truth is… I do believe in some things. Not all of them, just some things. And I’m happy like this. As happy as I can be. As fucked up as someone can be while knowing some stuff you’re definitely not supposed to know or see. _But life likes to fuck you up, so more or less isn’t really a problem, right?_

 

Just be careful in what you believe, in what you wish for, in what you dream about, in who you trust…

 

As some people say… some things are better left unknown…

 

...and I sure know about it, right…

 

 

 

 

 

 

_...Baby?_


	2. Haunted Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When you search for something you don’t know and find something you didn’t know existed. But maybe you just can’t remember it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's finally the first chapter... sorry it took so long. Maybe it doesn't look as exciting as everyone thought it would be? Probably.  
> it was fun to write this, I'm somewhat happy.  
> Ah... There's still a lot of things I need to revise and define before writing the next chapters... and college is starting again so yes, it may take a while... I'll try to update soon.  
> Thank you~

 

_A haunted house. A freaking haunted house._

 

Byungjoo kept pacing around Jiho’s room, thinking about what he did to deserve this. Why was he still friends with Jiho? He was always trying to scare him and embarrass him, and apparently, that meant buying him a huge purple _dildo_ and making him meet his ‘ _totally cool and normal_ ’ friends. In a freaking _haunted_ house. At midnight.

 

He was scared. Not that haunted houses or ghosts scared him or anything, no, that was impossible. But… maybe, _just maybe_ , deep down inside he was a _tiny bit_ afraid of going to this house in the middle of the night with a bunch of crazy people he didn’t know. And if they were Jiho’s friends, that meant they liked to smoke and drink and… drugs...

 

Sometimes Byungjoo really wondered why he was friends with Jiho. The… dildo… was something that made him regret their friendship _(oh, but it wasn’t just that. There were_ so _many, embarrassing situations – too many to count. And they were all Jiho’s fault)._ Hell, he wasn’t even prepared to go out! Just some hours ago he was answering annoying questions from doctors and signing papers to get out of that freaking hospital! Going out to this _freaking haunted house_ right now seemed like a very, very bad idea.

 

He thought about his parents. How long would they stay away? He didn’t want to live with Jiho, no matter how much of a good friend he was. 

 

Jiho was weird. _In every sense of the word._

 

He was always saying weird stuff and didn’t know the meaning of personal space! Touching him too much, making innuendos and… and being flirty! Byungjoo was _not_ gay. Not at all! He liked girls and boobs, even if he was too shy to talk to them without embarrassing himself ( _And he didn’t want Jiho’s help, nope. He was embarrassing enough without needing him as a wingman, thank you_ very _much._ )

 

So kissing Jiho was a no-no. No matter how good he could look… from time to time _(but he would die before admitting that_ ).

 

Jiho liked to ask for kisses and make pouty faces that left Byungjoo nervous and flustered. It made him think that maybe, just maybe, he would like to know if kissing a boy was different from kissing a girl. _Not that Jiho would ever know that, because Byungjoo would never ever kiss a boy in his life._

Byungjoo would continue to resist Jiho’s charms and flirty ways, no matter how hard it could be when he was pressed against a wall with a very close, half naked Jiho who just wanted to tease him. Why did he let Jiho persuade him into dying his hair? His now purplish locks would attract too much attention - there’s no way he would let him dye his hair again! He couldn’t afford Jihos teasing with his body always too close for comfort - _and all those little kisses along his shoulder… Damn it! Jiho was messing with his head! He was not gay! At all!_

 

“Are you ready? I don’t want to be late! Stop being such a scaredy cat, Bjoo!” Jiho laughed, appearing at the door and scaring Byungjoo, making him jump and his heart beat faster. Jiho loved the little reactions he could get out of him; Byungjoo was always the one who screamed, the easily frightened and fragile looking guy. It just added to Jiho’s fun.

 

“S-shut up!” Byungjoo shuttered, hands on his chest, trying to keep his heart inside his chest. He would kill Jiho one day; it was becoming a priority in his life to see him dead.

 

“Aw~ Did I come in at a bad time? Were you having fun with your new friend over there?” Jiho chuckled, pointing towards where the bright purple dildo rested, loving the way Byungjoo turned bright red in the face.

 

_I’m so going to kill him. He dies today,_ were the only thoughts in Byungjoo’s mind as he looked for something to throw at him.How could he say such embarrassing things? He was always like this! He didn’t… he didn’t even know why that _thing_ was in the room! He’s never used it before - _and he would never use it!_

 

“Come on! Really, Bjoo… I need to… well…” Jiho looked down and scratched his head. He wanted to talk to him, no jokes this time. He needed his best friend, he needed to tell him, needed someone he could trust, “Last one out’s a rotten egg!”

 

With that, he ran away grinning, leaving a confused Byungjoo behind, until he got out of the front door and stopped some meters away, waiting for him.

 

It didn’t take long; Byungjoo had no desire to be left alone. Yes, he didn’t want to go to that slumber party with Jiho’s friends, but the prospect of being alone in that house didn’t lift his spirits one bit. He’d hated his time in solitude at the hospital; he didn’t need any more of that.

 

Byungjoo hit Jiho and he gasped before hitting him back. ( _Who the hell did he think he was trying to hurt? His face -and body - were far too precious and beautiful for him to try something like that_ ) “Hey! What was that for? Come on, rotten egg! I want to talk to you!”

 

“Talk? What now?” Byungjoo whined, sure that Jiho only wanted to tease him more, but the blossoming of a soft blush on Jiho’s cheeks told him otherwise. “...what?”

 

“I need your help… Byungjoo…” He looked nervously at him and then away. He’d been thinking about this for a while, but… telling Byungjoo didn’t sound like such a good idea anymore. “I think I’m in love. Aaand…. it isn’t with Hyunho”

 

Not Hyunho? Byungjoo couldn’t have been more surprised. All he did was spend hours talking with, shopping with and… uh… _fucking_ Hyunho. How could he _not_ be in love?“What? B-but… Hyunho! And… Who is this guy? Do I know him?”

 

“Hyunho and I… we’re not actually dating! We’re just fooling around and having fun! And-” He blushed more, thinking about his crush. He was so perfect! Pure! “He’s really cute! And short~ And I might be kind of stalking him… Ah… You know how I’m busy every Sunday morning? Yeah… I’m with him! Well… kinda! At the church… ” Jiho laughed, nervously. He couldn’t help it. He was just so cute! But he didn’t have the guts to talk to him so he just… stared. From far away. _Very_ far away. _Well, not really, he did everything to sit just a bit behind him. He was too perfect up close, but Jiho had never been_ that _close to him before._

 

Byungjoo couldn’t help but laugh. Jiho? In a church?He could picture him stalking someone and flirting – could imagine it clearly - but Jiho… silent… in a church? No _freaking_ way. He needed to see that. And fast. _It was a good thing that Sunday was coming up._

 

*** 

 

The haunted house was exactly what Byungjoo expected, creepy and dead silent apart from… rapping sounds? It was a miracle the place was still in somewhat good shape - some broken windows here and there, graffiti, cracked walls, the usual stuff. It looked like it had had a garden some time ago. It was a decent sized house, maybe some rich family had lived there before. Byungjoo just hoped no one had died there. _And he didn’t want to be the first._

 

“Isn’t it beautiful?” Jiho grinned at him, laughing at Byungjoo’s face. Was he crazy? It was far from beautiful! It was terrifying! He would be so happy if he could just back away and run back home… he could do it, right? Jiho wouldn’t run after him, he could just - “Really, stop making that stupid face, I know you’re thinking about running! We’re going in.”

 

He didn’t have much choice after that. Jiho had his arm in a death grip and he couldn’t move - he wasn’t stupid enough to scream. Unless he was really taking him for some fucked up ritual and - _shit! Why didn’t he think about that before? Maybe Jiho wanted him as the virgin sacrifice! He needed to get away and fast!_

 

“I-I don’t think this is a good idea. Really! Don’t you see how this house looks? There are crows and dead trees! We should just… just go back home while we can and-” but he was cut off when Jiho pulled him inside and closed the door with a creepy grin on his lips. 

 

“Stop being such a pussy. Come on. You need to meet everyone~”

 

He had no choice but to follow Jiho - _he didn’t want to be there, but he also didn’t want to be left alone._

 

The room where they stopped was big and old. The dark red wallpaper was peeling, the little furniture in the room was covered with white blankets and the windows were broken and dirty - but everything in this damn house was dirty. Dust and spider webs coated the room making everything look creepier than it needed to be. The only light came from the yellow flickering lanterns sitting next to the people in the room. 

 

But that wasn’t the only thing they had. Smoke and a weird smell was in the air, most probably coming from the stuff some they were smoking, and the drinks and the beer cans and… _were those pills?_

 

Jiho hopped off from his side and almost jumped onto what Byungjoo thought was Hyunho’s lap, straddling him and starting a really uncomfortable make out session - _what the fuck happened to the ‘having a crush on the church boy’ stuff?_

 

That was when Byungjoo decided he should pay attention to everyone else in the room, even though no one looked like they cared about him _\- or the two guys eating each other’s face right next to them._

 

“Do you want to sit? We don’t bite”

 

Startled, he jumped and looked at the faces in the room, trying to guess who just talked. Most of them were too busy smoking or drinking or doing something, but there was a guy with warm eyes and ears a little too big for his head smiling and waving his hand at him. He didn’t look like a bad person… not at all, really. So what was he doing here with the rest of them? Perhaps he had been dragged along against his will, just like Byungjoo?He looked like a potential friend or… well… just someone to talk to and make the night less awkward.

 

Byungjoo made his decision. Sitting down next to the warm eyes guy, who pleasantly smiled at him, he could look at everyone from another point of view. “I-I’m Byungjoo…”  


The ears-guy smiled “Xero’s friend, right? We’re all family here, don’t worry” he chuckled and looked away from Byungjoo’s eyes, who could only look down in embarrassment for no reason at all. “We won’t make you do or try anything you don’t want to…”  


Byungjoo nodded and Jiho or… Xero… whatever, really… laughed at that. He had some love bites on his neck and his lips were swollen and red from the kisses. His hair, that took half an hour to style, was a disaster now, but he didn’t look sad or worried about it. Not at all from what Byungjoo could see…. he looked _far_ too excited, to be honest.

 

“Relax, man~ I’m Hyosang, but call me Kidoh, and I own this place,” the guy with the pills and a snapback smirked at him. “That’s Sangdo and you already know Xero and Seogoong! Over there you have Sehyuk, Hyuntae, Jiwon is the one with the badass tattoos, the one with the glasses is Hojoon and then there’s Dongsung and Sangwon, but call him Yano unless you wanna die (you’ve got a death wish)!”

 

It was… overwhelming. So many names… they were all so different from each other but it felt wrong sitting with them. He didn’t belong here… 

 

“Xero said you were in the hospital… are you alright now?” Byungjoo looked to the guy besides him - he knew his name now, Sangdo, was it? He could feel his body relax when he started talking with this guy. He looked like the most friendly of all of them and he made him feel comfortable, making it easier to talk. But then Sangdo showed a great interest in ghosts stories and even worse - ghost hunting and his whole body tensed up again. There really was no one normal here. He had been doomed from the beginning. He should just get up and run away before these strangers started a ghost hunting mission or worse… a ghost orgy! That wasn’t part of Byungjoo’s plans, not in this life and definitely not in his next. He liked real guys andgirls, with bones, skin, flesh! Not skeletons and certainly not ghosts! He didn’t even like orgies!

 

“Kidoh~ Make him try something, please? To make him relax! Apple juice! No alcohol!” Jiho’s hand found its way into Byungjoo’s hair, startling him from his train of thought. Maybe his best friend hadn’t forgotten about him like he thought… “Hey, Joo~ Ghosts are all fake~ They don’t exist! Relax, baby Joo~ You should go and have fun with them, ghost hunting or whatever shit they’re pulling, just don’t do drugs and don’t drink~ I’m heading upstairs… I have some unfinished business with Hyunho~”

 

That didn’t make Byungjoo feel better, not at all. His insides felt like they were going to explode and he wanted to puke - his anxiety was overwhelming and taking control of his body. He just wanted to leave and go back to his warm bed at Jiho’s. That was comfortable, that was peaceful, he was protected there.

 

Looking around the room in a vain attempt to distract himself, he could see Hyosang and Hojoon kissing and exchanging pills with their tongues. He found it disgusting and absurd and looking around again he could see that maybe Sangdo thought the same too. Or maybe not. He looked more sad than disgusted while looking at the pair in front of them.

 

Did he like him? But which one? Was everyone here gay? Not that he had anything against homosexuality, he just… didn’t need to see that. Didn’t need to see everyone making out in front of him. It wasn’t like he wanted to do the same or was jealous, he just didn’t want that.

His thought about asking Sangdo. He was a nice guy… well… nicer than the others here, apart from the spooky stuff he was interested in, and he could almost see a friend in him - he might as well try, right? He was alone with strangers after Jiho left him for a quick fuck so maybe making friends with the least crazy looking person here was a good idea.It was a way to pass the time and to keep his mind off the moaning noises that sounded a lot like Jiho ( _not that he knew what a moaning Jiho sounded like, but it was very, very similar to him - he could still remember one of their sleepovers where Jiho just happened to have a wet dream. Awkward? Yes, especially when you get all hot and bothered because of your best friend_ ).

 

“Are you alright?”

 

“Yes, of course. We should really try Ghost hunting here… doesn’t it look just perfect?” To tell the truth, Byungjoo didn’t expect an answer, didn’t really want one, he only wanted to have a clean conscience - he _did_ try to help, after all. So he was really surprised when he got a smile from Sangdo, even if it looked a bit forced.

 

“Was that pill enough or should I shove my dick down your throat?” Hyosang asked while wiping his lips with his sleeve.

 

“I think you need to work on your persuasion skills… and leave that to the bedroom,” said Hojoon, smirking. Sangdo got up then, said he was going to get some air, leaving Byungjoo alone with the craziness surrounding him. “Guess he wanted a pill… he could’ve asked!” Hojoon pouted.

 

“You’re really oblivious, Hojoon… Go give him a pill and see what’s up with him. You can thank me later~” Hojoon sighed and went after Sangdo, not wanting to deal with Hyosang’s nagging. He didn’t understand what he meant, and wasn’t remotely interested in knowing, but seeing as he had nothing better to do, he went after Sangdo. Hyosang turned to Byungjoo and smirked “I assure you there’s no ghosts here, don’t worry. Xero will be a while; you may as well explore the house. Don’t worry, nothing will happen.”

 

Even after being reassured like that, Byungjoo was still afraid, but he wouldn’t show them that, no way. He stood up straight and nodded, trying to look cool and strong, and left the room in long strides. Once he was out of sight, his posture was completely different: hunched with shaky steps, hands on the wall and eyes darting around. He just hoped they weren’t trying to scare him because he was sure he would die - _or scream in a very not manly way_.

 

The hallway was creepy and he felt like it would never end. The doors all looked the same, coaxing him inside, but he’d watched too many horror movies with Jiho to do something like that. He shouldn’t even be inside this house, just being here was asking for something to happen!

 

He kept on walking not knowing where he was heading or how much time had passed since he’d started. It surely felt like he’d been walking for hours but he hoped it’d only been some minutes since he’d left Jiho’s friends.

 

Unexpectedly, he arrived at the garden. It was huge and glowing with spring foliage, the intoxicating perfume of flowers was overwhelming.Byungjoo was so confused. This didn’t look like the house at all. The garden was full of life and gorgeous, and the house… the house was falling apart, disgusting, and the most decrepit place Byungjoo had ever had the misfortune to be in. The contrast was startling and it creeped him out, almost as much as the thought of ghosts. 

 

Somehow, he managed to fall flat on his face. He was frustrated, but happy that no one had seen him. 

 

That was until he heard a soft laugh coming from his right. He looked up and saw a boy bending down with his hand in front of him for Byungjoo to take.

 

“Are you alright?”

 

Byungjoo could only nod dumbly as he accepted the hand, his face flushing with embarrassment. “Y-yes! Are you one of Ji-Xero’s friends?”  
  
The white haired boy only giggled, his hair covering his eyes. “Let’s play~” He pulled Byungjoo up and toted him around in circles for a while.

 

Byungjoo was scared, very _very_ scared. This guy’s laugh creeped him out. Even if it was a bit cute, it was eerie and wrong and he was just really, really scary. Byungjoo kept trying to set his hand free from the boy’s grip but he was uncharacteristically strong for his small size and he was resigned to stumble along behind him.

 

“W-who are you?” 

 

“You don’t remember me? We met at the hospital...” The boy’s tone was sad; making Byungjoo’s heart hurt a little. He didn’t know what to say so he just shook his head. He was sure he would’ve remembered meeting someone with white hair and a weird laugh.

 

His lack of an answer only made things worse, the boy started to cry, sounding just like a small kid and it didn’t look like he would stop anytime soon. Byungjoo hesitantly approached him, trying to think of a way to calm him down. He gently touched his shoulder and to his surprise, the boy stopped crying. 

 

“It’s okay… You’ll remember soon!” The boy smiled and out of nowhere handed Byungjoo a rope. “Let’s play~ jump rope!”

 

 

Byungjoo backed away from the smiling boy. He was _not_ comfortable, not at all. Every passing second made the situation even creepier. The boy - whose name he still didn’t know- tied the rope to one of the trees close to them and gave the other end to Byungjoo.

 

“Bjoo~ Let’s jump~” 

 

The boy surged forward, grabbing his arm and holding it tightly, like he was afraid his friend would disappear. Byungjoo’s face turned very, very red. What kind of name was that? And he was too close! Byungjoo couldn’t help but notice how beautiful the other boy was up close, he looked almost ethereal with his white hair and blue eyes and - oh his lips were so cute! The boy was just cute overall and it was hard for Byungjoo to breathe and think properly.

 

“B-Bjoo? Is that… me? How did you… how did you know?” Questions were forming up inside Byungjoo’s head but the boy didn’t look like he would answer any of them. To be honest, he just looked like a kid who wanted to play and Byungjoo was the closest person he could find. But still, Byungjoo was curious about the other guy - maybe he was attracted to him, he was cute and could make him look like a tomato without trying much but that’s not something he would admit. “W-what’s your name?”

 

He got a cute giggle in response and a soft “Hansol,” followed by a simple peck on his cheek that made him feel light headed. It was too much, way too much. Why did everyone choose this day to torment him and make him blush?

 

The cute white haired guy, “Hansol” as he said, made him play for a while, the two of them jumping like kids. Hansol was surely having the time of his life standing really close to Byungjoo with his near hysterical laugher making Byungjoo’s ears ring.

 

During one of the jumps, Hansol tripped on his foot and fell down, almost taking Byungjoo with him. His face looked sad and angry, a pout making its way onto his lips and fresh tears appearing in the corner of his eyes, just waiting for the right time to fall. Byungjoo would be lying if he said this little meeting didn’t pull some of his heartstrings - he needed to help him, it was like something inside him was screaming, shouting murder for just standing there, looking at the sad adult-child on the ground. Things with this guy got weirder by second and Byungjoo felt divided in wanting to help him and letting him hold his arm and stand close just like he had been doing, or running away - truth to be told, this Hansol guy was really mysterious and creepy in a lot of ways, more than he could count with his fingers.

 

Nevertheless, Byungjoo extended his hand to help him but Hansol was having none of that. He wanted a hug from Byungjoo and he would get it, he worked hard enough to get here and make him play with him just to feel his arms around him and see the smile on his face, so he would get it! 

But Byungjoo being Byungjoo, didn’t understand what Hansol wanted when he held both his arms up for him to take, so he just did what he thought was right and grabbed both his arms, helping Hansol stand up. This made Hansol pout, he wanted to hug Byungjoo! But what could he expect, really? 

 

“Are you alright? Did you hurt yourself? M-Maybe we should go inside! The others… they can take care of you if you’re hurt!”

 

Hansol could only chuckle at the worry in Byungjoo’s tone. He was just so adorable~ he just wanted to play with him all the time and... well… have Byungjoo for himself! He wanted to see what he could do, the faces Byungjoo could make, how fast his face could turn red, and so much more. But all of that would need to wait…

 

“I have to go… bye, Byungjoo~ We’ll see each other again,” he wrapped his arms around Byungjoo’s neck and yes, just what he wanted! His face flared scarlet, but that only served to amuse Hansol even more. He wanted to take it a step further, and see how Byungjoo would react, but he had to go. Someone was coming; he could hear footsteps close by, and no matter how much he didn’t want it to, his time with his cute Byungjoo was ending for now.

 

Byungjoo, on the other hand, couldn’t breathe. Hansol was close, like… really close, closer than before. He could feel his breathe on his chin and his cold arms around his neck, sending shivers down his spine.He couldn’t think. What was happening? Hansol said he was alright and something about leaving but - why so soon? He tried to articulate and form words, sentences, questions, ask him why, why are you leaving so soon? We were having fun, right? Even if you are a bit creepy, I kinda like you by my side! But he couldn’t do that, his eyes could only focus on the face right in front of him, just some inches away, the cute nose and the blue eyes and the rosy lips… Byungjoo didn’t need a mirror to know he was probably red, the most embarrassing shade of strawberry he’s ever been in his entire life, and just thinking about how close to another man he was and how… damn, those lips were almost calling him, almost making him lean forward and give in.

 

But still, Hansol was a stranger and a creepy one at that. And Byungjoo wasn’t gay - how could he even think of kissing another boy for a second? All these thoughts must be side effects of having been in the hospital for so long and then meeting with Jiho, it’s the only explanation he could find.

 

Hansol grinned, watching the emotions on his dear Bjoo’s face. He was so cute! He could see the confusion and the curiosity, and the most important thing of all - he could see how Byungjoo looked at his lips. He had to be fast and it was a shame he couldn’t stay to watch Byungjoo’s reaction. He dived in and kissed Byungjoo full on the lips, biting them softly and pulling sounds of surprise from his mouth. He had to be sure Byungjoo would remember him the next time they met.

 

“Bye, Joo~ Don’t forget about me now,” he said as he left, but it wasn’t like Byungjoo saw or even heard it… he was in a daze, too focused on the lingering feeling of Hansol’s lips. They were cold, colder than what he expected, just like his arms.

 

Once Byungjoo came back to the land of the living and looked around, he could only watch as a giggling Hansol jumped around in the distance. He wanted to ask where he was going, but his mind blanked when Hansol turned around with a smirk and then disappeared, like an evaporating dream.

 

And then Byungjoo did what any sane person would do.

 

He fainted.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

_Welcome back to the world, baby. It’s past your bedtime._

 

 

 

 


	3. Confession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Confessions happen under the stars

 

_“Don’t give up. You need to try, to stay together. I can see it, I know it. It’s written.”_

 

“I think i can finally see what makes you stare so much at the sky. The stars are beautiful.”

 

Sangdo turned around, surprised to hear another voice in the silence of the night. Then he smiled. It was impossible not to, even if it was a bitter one - the boy who he has been crushing for more years than he could remember was in front of him, looking as handsome as ever. His hair was a true mess, his cheeks were slightly rosy both from the alcohol or the cold night, he couldn’t be sure, the moon casted a soft light upon his features, making him seem even more beautiful than ever before. It was truly a sight from a dream. The smile acquired a new taste in his mouth, like jealousy now - he could still see the boy in front of him with his lips on another, and it hurt.

 

“They are. I love watching them.” Sangdo looked at the sky, smiling softly at his stars. How he longed to be with them, closer to them, to touch them. He wanted to shine as brightly as them one day.

 

“Do you want a drink? Well, Hyosang said I should come and give you it anyways and one of the pills we were trying. So you’re free to enjoy it~” Hojoon smiled as he stopped beside Sangdo, leaning his back on the balcony. He put the can of beer and one of Hyosang’s little pills between them. “Take it. I’ll take mine as well.”

 

Sangdo looked at the pill and sighed, then grabbed it and played with it in his hand. Ah… what a bittersweet feeling… knowing that the one you like was just beside you but still so far away. So so far away...

 

“I don’t mind the drink, but not the pills. I don’t… I don’t fancy them. They’re not good for you, Joonie.” He gave another sad smile before turning to the stars and sighing. They had it so much easier…

 

Hojoon frowned before shrugging and sighing. “I don’t know what’s wrong with you. Hyosang wanted me to you find for… well, I don’t know. He said I should come and talk because it was obvious and I would regret it? Something like that I think. Not sure~ I was bored" He sighed and smiled, almost gulping down all of his beer. He was way too sober to deal with emotional people.

 

“Bored, uh? He’s right… everyone knows… everyone but you” He shook his head. He felt like a fool. His feelings were crystal clear for everyone, so how could he not see them? Hyosang saw… Sangdo couldn’t hold it against him on that, couldn’t blame him for stealing someone he never had.

 

He sighed and took the pill, swallowing it down and drinking all of his beverage. He was feeling a bit more light headed, everything hurt less now, but only for a little bit.

 

“What do you mean, Sangdo? Ugh! What is it?”

 

Sangdo chuckled. This was the time of the truth, right? If it didn’t work… well, if it did work, he didn’t know what would be worse. They were both under the influence of the alcohol and drugs, which could be either a blessing or a curse.

 

“It’s you, Joonie.” He turned to Hojoon and smiled. He could be rejected or accepted, but he would make sure Hojoon knew how much he was loved. He gulped. It was his time to shine now. “I like you, Hojoon. I like you a lot, actually. It’s almost silly… Everyone knows, everyone was aware of it for… for years. Everyone but you.”

 

Sangdo smiled shyly, his cheeks a little pink, as he looked at Hojoon, his beautiful and amazing Hojoon. His Hojoon that had bad habits, but he still loved him. It was impossible not to.

 

“I could tell you so much, Joonie, about how much I like you, how important and beautiful you are to me, but I would probably just embarrass myself. It’s better if… if I keep that stuff inside my head” He chuckled softly. He would only embarrass himself more if he kept talking. He was really a lightweight, couldn’t even take a can of beer without his mouth filter completely stopping to work.

 

“S-Sangdo…”

 

Hojoon didn’t know what to feel. No one had ever confessed to him, or no one that he actually cared about. It wasn’t like he liked Sangdo, no, he never considered it. It was new to him, but somehow… somehow his heart was beating fast, his hands were sweating and his cheeks were warmer. Maybe it was the drink, maybe it was the effects of the pill, or maybe it was the confession from one of his friends. He could try and guess, but when was the last time he felt like this without taking drugs? Without partying with Hyosang? Without joining on dangerous adventures?

 

He took a step closer. And another one. And another.

 

He really couldn’t comprehend what was happening. It was like the world changed before his eyes. Or maybe it was just his eyes that had changed.

 

Sangdo looked… adorable. Adorably cute. His always a bit too big ears didn’t look near half bad on him as he had previously thought, his neck and cheeks were colored in a pretty red, and his eyes were shining, those sad eyes looking a bit at everything but still focusing on his own. He could also see the stars forming a magic background behind the taller boy and the light of the moon making him look a bit paller. He looked so sweet right now…

 

It wasn’t love, nothing like that. Hojoon never experienced that feeling before, not the romantic kind of love anyways, but in that moment he felt warm. Sangdo was looking really attractive right now. That was the first time that thought appeared in his mind.

 

He took another step closer, standing just in front of Sangdo, and slowly put his hands on his chest. He wanted to reach up, touch his face, play with his hair, kiss him, nuzzle his neck, smell him. He was confused, oh so confused, but he didn’t mind any of that in that moment. He wanted something more. Something…

 

“Hojoonie… I really wish I could kiss you. If it’s the only chance I have to know what it feels like to kiss you… I would like to take it.” Sangdo smiled and gently caressed Hojoon’s cheek. Soft, just like it looked. He could see Hojoon closing his eyes and leaning into his palm. What a sweet tentation that was, the forbidden fruit he could never have… “But I can’t. You’re with Hyosang… I like you, I confessed, but I don’t betray my friends.”

 

Hojoon opened his eyes, surprised at the feeling of Sangdo’s lips on his forehead. Somehow… somehow looking at Sangdo’s sad smile was making something burn inside him. He couldn’t tell what it was, but those were a lot of firsts for him. He was in a bubble of confusion, but his body and mind ached for more.

 

“Do it. It’s okay… Please, I… do it. It’s not betrayal. Hyosang knew, i’m sure he knew you would… you would do this.” He grabbed Sangdo’s hand before it could leave his face and squeezed it. He wanted more. “There are no feelings between me and-and Hyosang. It’s just drinking, drugs, sex. He wouldn’t mind. I won’t mind.”

 

He could see Sangdo shaking his head and leaning back. He had to do something. He was… he was intoxicated with the new feelings. He didn’t want them to disappear, he wanted more, he needed them to stay!

 

“Sangdo… Sangdo, please. Come on… We’re both… we’re both drunk, right? I won’t tell. If you want, we’re both under the influence of alcohol and drugs, it’s alright. Don’t be afraid.”

 

Sangdo’s throat felt really dry in that moment. To him, it was wrong, but he also knew it was right, all that Hojoon said, and he had waited for so so many years… He was tired. He just wanted to feel a bit of happiness, a bit of what could have been and what not. He just wanted a chance to taste the moment, what it feels like to be the one to receive his affection, his eyes, his touch, his smile. He didn’t need much more.

 

So he didn’t resist. He couldn’t, really. Not with Hojoon leaning up, hands gently caressing his chest and shoulders with some hesitance, a beautiful smile in his lips as he came closer and closer, until their lips brushed against each other.

 

Such a short moment, but it should be enough. It should have been enough. But it wasn’t.

 

Sangdo wanted more, just wanted to take a bit more. He kissed Hojoon again, not just a brush of lips this time, but a true kiss, lips moving against each other, nipping, biting, licking, hands moving to grab hair, clothes, skin, cold stone digging against one’s back, hands pulling, breathy whimpers and pants filling the air, asking for more, begging to be taken.

 

He pulled away, flushed and embarrassed, out of breath as well. He went too ahead of his expectations. He crossed the line.

 

At least that’s what he thought before looking at Hojoon’s face: his eyes were closed and lips red and parted, soft pants leaving him as if he was asking for more. His hands were will grabbing Sangdo’s shirt and hair, his hair was even more of a mess than when he first stepped onto the balcony. What a sight to be taken…

 

“Sangdo… Why… why did you stop? You’re a really good kisser… I didn’t know”

 

“I didn’t know it myself either” Sangdo chuckled and gently squeezed Hojoon’s waist before grabbing his hands and kissing them. “Hojoon… I… I apologize. It was only meant to be an innocent kiss, but I couldn’t, I couldn’t control myself. I probably will want more if we don’t stop and we’re not sober.”

 

He smiled and leaned his forehead against Hojoon’s. This was too good to be true. This was probably a dream, so he intended to dream it to the fullest.

 

“Don’t pout… I like you a lot, Hojoonie, but I don’t have sex just because. I-I’m a virgin. I’m not ashamed of that, because I want sex to be special, and for that… for that I won’t touch you, I won’t do anything more to you tonight, because I would probably lose control.” Sangdo kissed Hojoon’s forehead, finding his pout and frown adorable. How he wished he could have him one day. “Still, I’m inviting you. If you want, you can sleep with me, in my house. Nothing… nothing will happen, at least nothing that involves more than cuddles and maybe kisses, if you want… What do you say?”

 

Sangdo took a deep breath. This.. this could mean a lot, his answer.Hojoon probably didn’t completely understand what was happening, the magnitude of Sangdo’s confession, but there was a chance that they could talk it out in the morning, maybe over some homemade food on the bed, some cuddles, a movie… Just maybe… maybe everything could work out…

 

“I guess… There’s nothing to lose. I’m tired and… well, kissing you sounds good. Sleeping in your arms also looks really appealing right now~" He couldn’t help but send a little wink and smirk at Sangdo, watching with mirth as he blushed another shades of red. He was finding the taller guy more adorable as the time passed. And well… the kisses helped, of course. He was definitely attracted to him, he had no doubt about that now. No matter how many guys he had stayed with, the kisses, the touches, the looks couldn’t compare to that little demonstration. He would lie if he said he wasn’t disappointed with the no-sex rule Sangdo imposed, but the guy was a virgin, a romantic one at that. He wasn’t half bad looking and was a hell of a kisser… A catch, really. It made him wonder why the hell he was still single, why was he so head over heels with who Hojoon was. But mostly, he wanted to know what Sangdo saw in him, if he would tell him the embarrassing stuff he was thinking early, it was probably all pretty words that would be way too cheesy and make him want to vomit, but strangely that didn’t happen before… would he puke? Would he blush? Maybe he just liked his ass and face or something, it probably wouldn’t be something that special, so why was he so anxious, so curious about what it was?

 

There was only one way to find it out, to end his questions. Well, actually there were two, but Hyosang was probably too busy with his stuff to answer his questions - not to mention that he would be really pissed off if he knew that Hojoon left Sangdo like this, looking like a crestfallen adorable oversized puppy, with a sad smile and even sadder eyes. No way, that just wouldn’t do.

 

“Hojoonie? Sorry… I… I’ll go, alright? You don’t need to think of an excuse. Just a no would do. I understand”

 

And dear God, if that sad smile wasn’t killing him inside, he didn’t know what could.

 

“I wasn’t thinking of one. I’ll go with you. I said it, right? It is a nice proposal. We should just tell the others, okay?”

 

“Oh… oh! Ah… yes, alright, if you’re sure about that. If you want to come, I really, I would be happy” An embarrassed smile made its way to Sangdo’s lips, making Hojoon smile back and move closer until he could kiss his cheek.

 

“Then it’s decided. Let’s go… I’m about to fall asleep.”

 

Hojoon took his hand, feeling brave and satisfied even with the result of nothing but some cuddles during the night. It was weird feeling like that, like he didn’t need to make use of his body to feel loved or needed, or until he could feel pleased. Weird but nice. He definitely needed to talk about this with Hyosang. He would know what to do.

 

**xxx**

 

“Hey, where’s Joo?”

 

All the present heads turned to Jiho, who just returned with Hyunho. In his neck were several angry purple and red spots, no doubt from hickeys, and his cheeks were still red and the hair a mess. Hyunho was in the same state; what they did was obvious to everyone.

 

“I sent him off to explore the house. And maybe to find some ghosts” Hyosang smirked as played with the pill in his hands. The new addition to their group sure was amusing, that promised a lot of new and funny events in their future.

 

Jiho frowned. “Where? Hyosang, he’s… please, go easy on him. Joo is… he is delicate. And he just recovered from a deep coma so don’t do anything too harsh, okay?” He sighed and pecked Hyunho’s lips. “I’ll search for him and then we’ll go home. I’ll see you all soon, guys!”

 

Not too long after he left, Hojoon and Sangdo entered the room, still hand in hand, earning some whistles from the others. Still, Hojoon kept his hold on Sangdo, even with the blush rising to both their faces, Hojoon kept his face almost blank.

 

“I’ll leave with Sangdo tonight. Is that okay, Hyo?” He looked at Kidoh, who winked and smiled.

 

“More than okay! Took you long enough, Sangdo~” Hyosang laughed. His group of friends was so freaking funny to him, in every way and sense.

 

Sangdo blushed even more after hearing him and the dirty comments coming from Yano’s mouth. He didn’t feel like he did much… nothing was resolved, he didn’t have the answer he liked, or an answer at all. Confessing didn’t look like that much of a deal when you were drunk and high.

 

“Well, then. We’re leaving. Bye, guys. Don’t burn the house, we don’t need more trouble!” Hojoon waved as they both left, walking in a comfortable silence and appreciating the stars above their heads. Sangdo’s house wasn’t that far and he really, really needed to pee and sleep - the motion of laying in a strong guy’s arms never seemed more appealing, especially because Hyosang didn’t meet those requirements, no matter how good his dick was. There was always a lot lacking in their post-sex cuddles. Maybe… maybe he would find now what was missing. He knew he already found a bit of it from their kisses - that made him anxious and excited to discover more. Sangdo was a gem just waiting to be uncovered.

 

**xxx**

 

Where was he? Why couldn’t he find him? The house wasn’t even that big!

 

Alright, that was a lie. The house was really big. He couldn’t remember how they found it, how they had access to it, but it was all thanks to Hyosang - like many of the other stuff they did. It had more than enough rooms to count with three hands, two floors and a big ass garden, dead and creepy, just perfect to add to the picture that Hyosang wanted to paint.

 

He couldn’t remember what made them come here, but Hyosang was the one who insisted - something about ghosts, tarot shit and alcohol. The perfect place for their bunch of friends!

 

But really, he had no idea to why Hyosang was so into that esoteric stuff. It wasn’t even real, if you ask him.

 

Jiho usually followed the plan and went with them. Meetings with Hyosang - and the others - most likely meant sex, alcohol and drugs. And Jiho loved every bit of it.

 

He wasn’t addicted. Well, he hoped he wasn’t… but one could never be sure. He didn’t enjoy drugs that much, he didn’t even know what they were taking most of the time, too drunk to care or to horny to ask, but the one thing that he did know was that he loved the drinks, but above all, he loved the moments with Hyunho.

 

Don’t get him wrong. He didn’t love Hyunho as anymore than a friend, a close one at that - he had his eyes dead set on the church boy and he was probably really crazy for that,- but he couldn’t deny how much he loved the sex, the touches, the kissed, his body on fire, like there was lava running inside his veins, his mind blank, overtaken by the immense pleasure! Sex was all of that to him. It was precious to him, he probably couldn’t live without that, but that didn’t mean that he was using Hyunho. He knew what he was getting into. They talked it out… or he thought they did. They were really drunk (not that much of a surprise) when they first hooked up and they kept going after that. It was addicting. Maybe he was really addicted. Sex was his favourite drug after all.

 

He shook his head. He should be looking for his best friend, not trying to find the answers to the questions he long ago gave up on trying to ask.

 

Byungjoo didn’t pass by him, right? Or did he? He already checked the first floor and there was just some rooms from the base floor left. That and the garden but why the hell would he be there? He was a scaredy cat and, to be honest, the garden was way creepier than the other rooms. Alright, the old wood could make a lot of noise, the wind coming through the window too, but it was all just normal! Right? Normal rooms! Nothing scary! Apart from some big ass spiders and their huge families of tiny spiders and some cockroaches, maybe some rats as well? Okay, it was scary and disgusting. They should probably clean the house a bit and find a way to kill everything inside that could move, but who would do it? Him, Jiho himself? No way. And the others also wouldn’t do it. Unless it was Sangdo, probably… or Hyosang payed to get someone to do it for them, but it wasn’t likely to happen. The house would stay as it was for a very, very long time.

 

Jiho was close to giving up. He couldn’t find Byungjoo anywhere inside the house and outside… he really doubted he would be there, but hey, maybe his best friend was really just as crazy as his group of friends! He didn’t know if he should feel happy or worried about that - Byungjoo had that air of innocence that he wanted to protect, but at the same time, he wanted to destroy it. He was annoyed by how innocent that guy could be when talking about some topics… Maybe he was jealous; he couldn’t remember when he was just like him, but it wasn’t that long ago.

 

Maybe he was a bad friend for wanting that, but it’s better if he’s the one destroying Byungjoo’s little pink world than someone else, right? No one could blame him for wanting that!

 

Thinking about that, why the hell was he doing lying on the grass? And what’s up with that garden? It looked like the house had it’s own dead and creepy looking forest, just like in the horror stories! Hyosang had chosen it just right… it was way too perfect.

 

“Hey, Joo! What the fuck are you doing there, man?” He frowned, coming closer to him. Byungjoo, on the ground, didn’t even move. He just hoped that he wasn’t dead because… well, for a couple of reasons. It was his best friend in the question and having him dead would bring a lot of problems to Hyosang, problems he certainly didn’t need…

 

He shook Byungjoo’s shoulder, trying to wake him up, with no success. Then, resorting to other methods, he slapped him across the cheeks. That did the job.

 

“H-hey! What the?? Jiho! That hurt!” The guy in question rolled his eyes at his friend’s whines.

 

“I’m the one who should be asking, Joo! What the fuck are you doing here? And sleeping on the grass? Did you take some of Hyosang’s stuff?” He frowned at him. He couldn’t believe it, but… “Maybe you’re less innocent that I thought…”

 

“I didn’t take anything! Of course not! I don’t like that stuff…” He sighed and slowly stood up, looking around with his eyes half closed. “Did you see a guy with white hair? I think he was from your group of weird friends! Hansol, I think… we were playing and he just disappeared!”

 

Byungjoo looked at the ground, a bit embarrassed. Now… now that sounded really silly. Was he dreaming? No way, it couldn’t be. He knew he met Hansol, but he couldn’t explain what happened… The way he left was probably some magic trick, of course! No one can just vanish out of nowhere!

 

“Who? Never heard that name. And never saw anyone with white hair. Unless you count Hyunho… well, that looked great on him~”

 

“No! Hansol! He was like.. Our age! Really cute, blue eyes, white hair, kinda pale? He was a bit weird… and he’s just gone! How?”

 

Jiho chuckled. “Cute? Ah~ I see… Seeing my group of hot friends made your imagination run wild? Did you just have a wet dream, Byungjoo~?”

 

“W-what!? Of course not!! He was really here, Jiho!! Don’t be an asshole!” Byungjoo glared at his best friend, while trying to contain his blush, but without much success. Why did he have to be friends with such an asshole?

 

“Okay, okay! Calm down!” Pulling his hands up in surrender, Jiho sighed. “I didn’t see anyone and I doubt they saw it either… we don’t know anyone like that or with that name. Let’s just… let’s go home, okay? You’re probably tired, we had a really long day, Joo”

 

Byungjoo nodded. Yes, it was indeed a long day… He was tired and his head was killing him! He just wanted to sleep. He could think of his strange encounter later.

 

“Let’s go then… Thank you for coming to get me”

 

Jiho snorted and then showed him one of his best smiles “What did you expect? One of the other guys? You’re my friend… well, my dumb best friend, but you get it, right?”

 

Getting pushed from a furious Byungjoo was to be expected. Sometimes it looked like they hated each other, but they were childhood friends so everything was okay with them. They couldn’t be more bros than this. Still, he laughed. Byungjoo was cute, he would give him that.

 

Walking back to the living room, he could hear screaming, but knowing his group of friends, that was to be expected. Looks like Dongsung ate the food they had… again. Nothing new, really.

 

After getting some teasing smiles and looks from all of them, Hyosang especially, and some questions about ghosts that managed to scare Byungjoo all over again, they left to Jiho’s house, of course, not before he could give Hyunho another hot kiss, borderlining the start of another makeout.

 

Strangely to them, they walked in silence on their way back - one was too tired, too confused and a bit scared by the new events that took place in that day, and the other, more used to that, was also lost in his own little world, thinking of hot touches, dates and kisses and various scenarios featuring his new crush.

 

As soon as they stepped inside the house and laid on the bed, their eyes closed and the thoughts consumed by sleep. The lives inside their dreams awaited them.

 

**xxx**

 

“You really had to eat everything? Again?” Sangwon almost growled. He was trying not to throw himself at Dungsung. Hyosang wouldn’t be happy if he managed to destroy more furniture… once again. Well, he didn’t care much, but he made Dongsung pay for it and he was actually - just a bit, really deep inside,- pitying him. He knew he probably (surely) wasn’t fair about that, but that guy…!! He could make him want to kill him or kiss him. And right now, kissing him was the last thing on his head. He was really, really hungry, and had no food!

 

“Sorry? Come on! I was hungry… I’m a big man, I need to eat! Forgive me, Sangwonie?”

 

“Forgive you? Who do you think you’re calling that, you piece of shit?” This time, he really growled. He was past the pissed off stage.

 

Hyosang’s blooming laugh could be heard above their little dispute, making Sangwon turn his angry eyes to him.

 

“What?”

 

“You two… You’re so amusing to watch!”

 

Glaring at him, Sangwon gulped down the rest of his beer, ready to throw it out at someone. He was the youngest and sometimes the victim of some of their stupid ideas. Hyosang’s ideas. Everyone knew that he didn’t enjoy being with that guy as much… he didn’t hate him, but didn’t like him either. Hyosang was an annoying combo of batshit crazy ideas, alcohol and drugs, and while he enjoyed some of the above, he didn’t enjoy the person in question. What he did enjoy was the fun they usually had - when he wasn’t the subject to some of the plots for the nights. Overall, he liked to rile everyone a bit, it was always fun to watch their reactions.

 

“Shut the fuck up and go suck a dick or some shit! Hey, idiot, we’re leaving. And you’re buying me a big mac and two doses of chips.”

 

Dongsung whined but got up, he knew it would be worse if he didn’t attend to Sangwon’s needs… and this time he had a bit of fault… But they should have counted on his appetite!

 

“Bye~ You’re always welcome here~” Hyosang waved while showing one of his most annoying smiles. He could be the image of a perfect host when he wanted!

 

Frowning and showing up a middle finger at him, the pair left, soon followed by the others, until the there was only inside Hyosang and, strangely enough, Hyunho as well. The party was over, after all, so why was he still there?

 

Raising an eyebrow, Hyosang slowly turned to face Hyunho. He was looking down, a bottle of vodka in his hands and a satisfied glow in his face. Judging from the shadow of a real smile on his lips, he had enjoyed his time with Jiho a bit more than usual.

 

Hyosang frowned. If his guess was correct…

 

He sighed. Better break off the bad news before the other was left heartbroken… not that he believed that was really possible, but who knows? Maybe they were really something more than just fuck buddies?

 

There was only one way to find out.

 

“Jiho looked happy tonight. More than usual…”

 

“You think so?”

 

It was just as he thought. Looks like someone was in a bit too deep, as he could tell by the big smile showing up in Hyunho’s face after saying that.

 

“Yeah… Sorry to break it to you, but if my analysis is correct… and my tarot reading as well, Jiho likes a new guy. It will have a bit of impact in everyone’s life if he decides to pursue the guy.”

 

“A new guy?” Hyunho snorted. If Jiho really liked someone, he would tell him, right? It was easy to say that he didn’t believe a word of what just came out of Hyosang’s mouth.

 

“I don’t care if you don’t believe. Just thought I could be a good friend for once and warn you.” He sighed. Looks like even if he did try, nothing would come out right, uh? “You should leave. Don’t you have a house? Party’s over and I don’t have food for you.”

 

Hyunho frowned and as he stood up. “You have a weird way of being a good friend. Maybe you’re jealous cuz now Hojoon will leave you for Sangdo?”

 

He smirked at the glare in Hyosang’s eyes. He wasn’t the only one who could tease and annoy the others, maybe it was time he learned a lesson or two about being a good friend, it would do him good.

 

Truth to be told, Hyosang wasn’t that bad - he just wasn’t a goody two shoes either! But he did try to join Hojoon and Sangdo after knowing how long Sangdo has been pining after the former.

 

“I’m staying with you.” Stretching his arms and legs, Hyunho put his arm around the shorter. He grinned at the annoyed look taking over Hyosang’s face. He could see what made the other be so annoying to everyone else! It was so funny to tease and annoy the shit out of him!

 

“Whatever. Sleep here for all I care. But I’m not giving you anything to keep you warm during the rest of the night.”

 

Shrugging Hyunho’s arm off, Hyosang turned around and walked away, in direction of his room in the first floor, leaving behind an amused Hyunho, that took off after him.

 

Probably expecting this kind of response from the other, Hyosang left the door to his room open, the light from inside being the only thing illuminating the whole corridor. Peeking inside, the room was nothing special. The walls were from a faded purple color and bare, except for some weird and ugly looking paintings that were probably there since before they got the house, but overall, it was a clean room - way better than the one where he was with Jiho. The bed - oh, the bed - that was enormous!, easily having enough space for 4 to sleep… or just one or two, depending on the positions one takes to sleep. Hyunho knew he liked to sleep in somewhat awkward positions, sometimes taking most of the bed for himself, that being one of the things that left Jiho annoyed.

 

Getting inside, he couldn’t see Hyosang, but there was another door in the room and also the sound of water running. He was probably getting dressed or washing himself, he thought as he stripped down his jeans and shoes, alongside with the jacket. Now, he could feel the cold air of the night creeping inside the old house.

 

He was getting tired of waiting and the room was cold with his lack of clothing, he couldn’t wait to get in the bed, but he could almost guess what Hyosang would do once he saw him inside the room - he would bolt away, after glaring or sending an annoyed look in his way. That made him chuckle and get in the bed. So much better! He didn’t want to freeze and neither did Hyosang, so he would hope for the better.

 

As expected, once he stepped out of the adjacent bathroom, Hyosang glared and rolled his eyes at Hyunho, but made his way to the bed, getting inside but as far away from him as possible. Who knew that Hyunho could be this annoying… what was it? Did he offend him? Or was the other just needy?

 

“You try to take the covers and I’ll shoot your brain”, said Hyosang, grabbing the blanket closer to his chest.

 

Hyunho laughed and tugged at the blanket, getting closer and spooning him from behind, with one arm around his waist. “This way I won’t steal anything and we keep warm~ I have good ideas, right?”

 

Sighing, Hyosang let him be, he just wanted to sleep after everything. The room was silent for a while.

 

“Do you really think he likes someone? Jiho, I mean…” whispering against Hyosang’s hair, Hyunho sighed. He was growing to like Jiho more that he was supposed to, he knew that, but he was just likeable! He couldn’t stop! It hurt him to know that his friend slash boyfriend was thinking of someone else while they had sex and kissed.

 

Nodding, Hyosang turned to him. “I do think so. What are you gonna do?”

 

“I don’t know. I never thought of what would happen… What are you gonna do? About Hojoon? He’ll leave you like this!”

 

Hyosang smiled, “that’s what I want to happen. He will be happy with Sangdo. I’m no one’s best choice… he shouldn’t even be with me.”

 

Sitting up to look down at Hyosang, Hyunho frowned. “What’s with that? What do you mean? What’s wrong with you? We’re all some kind of assholes but what’s wrong with that?”

Hyosang sighed and closed his eyes. The other wouldn’t shut up unless he gave him an answer, but that meant having someone else knowing the truth and that could be as dangerous as being with Hojoon or someone. Still… he was tired… tired of lying, of running, of everything…

 

Looking into Hyunho’s eyes, he licked his lips. He could feel something changing in the air around them just from the decision he just made. Something huge was going to change, good or bad, and it would be because of this annoying conversation. God… how he hated talking about his personal life!

 

“Look, in case you didn’t read between the lines, I’m a dealer. I can’t quit. More than that, I also have some dangerous enemies because… well, I don’t like a lot of people and they don’t like me back! Also, I don’t believe in love, so yes, Hojoon is better with Sangdo because he will love him, they will love each other and have kids or puppies or some shit!”

 

He sighed and covered his eyes with his arm. That took his breath… but he felt light. Feelings are a really huge mess and he would be so happy if he didn’t need them!

 

“I want my friends happy and safe. I don’t have the best way to show it, I also know I’m by far the best friend they could ask for… I give them drugs! Come on! But I don’t want them in the shit I’m involved… there’s so much more behind that I can’t tell anyone… Everyone would end up hurt or worse...” He glared at Hyunho, hoping he would keep his mouth shut for the rest of his life. “This is the last time I’m talking about this, don’t even think of asking or mentioning it again or whatever could be related to what I do. Never again, understood, Hyunho?”

 

After some minutes just frowning and trying to absorb all that, Hyunho nodded and his expression softened.

 

“I see…” Smiling a bit, he lowered his body until he was laying on Hyosang’s chest. “That’s sad, Hyo… I wish… I think everyone wishes you could stop doing that but I know it’s probably hard. You’re cute like this, you know? Sweet.”

 

Flushing hard, Hyosang hit the other’s head, making him moan in pain, but he couldn’t make him move. What was wrong with that guy? Or with him? Why the hell was he feeling his cheeks so warm?

 

Startled by a voice laughing, his chest felt lighter from a moment before he was manhandled until he was laying on Hyunho’s chest. His cheeks never felt warmer than in this moment… and that wasn’t just because of the position or the way he could feel the hard muscles beneath him nor the warm breath or sweet scent mixed with sex and sweat and… t-that pervert!

 

“Hey! Stop, stop! Holy sh- Stop that!”

 

“You fuckign pervert! What about this situation is making you hard? Didn’t you have sex a while ago? Are you always that horny? You’re so annoying!”

 

Laughing again and still trying to evade Hyosang’s fists, Hyunho grinned. “Just ignore it and be still! I’m also trying to be a good friend, alright? Just chill, think nothing of it!”

 

“Your disgusting dick is poking my tummy and you want me to chill? Get out of my bed!”

 

Sighing before turning their positions again, Hyunho made sure he was leaning most of his weight on Hyosang so he would stay still.

“Just sleep. I’m trying to comfort you or something, you know? I’m even ignoring what you said! Come on, Hyosang… Just calm down and stop moving. I won’t do anything… I just think we need lots of cuddles~"

 

Once he decided that the other under him had calmed down, he moved to the side to spoon him again. This time, Hyosang’s body melted into his, body and mind completely spent from thrashing around.

 

“Friends don’t do this. And don’t think I’m going to be your next lover or whatever after Jiho leaves you. I top, bitch.”

 

Hyunho sighed against his neck, not resisting in just leaving a kiss in that place. “I know. But who cares? No one’s watching, relax. We could try, you know? I don’t believe that nonsense you said about not believing in love… I think it would be a new experience for both of us, we could both have fun! A lot of fun… I promise it’s going to be more interesting than whatever you did with Joonie!”

 

He snorted. This guy was delirious… he really needed to stop giving all of that stuff to his own friends.

 

“Do you even know what I did with Hojoon? Maybe we were super kinky, you know? We had fun, who are you to say that you can top that?” He snorted, that guy had a huge ego. Fucking huge… maybe as huge as the thing still poking him. Stupid Hyunho.

 

“Who says anything about being kinky? Come on… let’s try! It’s going to be fun! Think of it as a dare, Hyosang. I was thinking of trying the whole boyfriend deal… what’s better than to do it as friends? I mean, if you are right about Jiho… then… well…”

 

“Are you that fast to leave him and try someone else? Woah… I thought you were being honest when you said you liked him… I guess you really just like his ass, uh?”

 

“It’s not that!” Hyunho sighed, feeling suddenly tired. “I want him happy. I don’t exactly believe in your words but if it’s true then I’m getting ready… Being in love and being a disgusting couple like in those films wasn’t exactly in my plans but I wanted to give it a try, even if it’s just for a bit… I wanted to feel it, you know? I was thinking of asking Jiho for a real date, but now… I don’t know,” groaning, he squeezes Hyosang against his chest, all the while nuzzling his nose in his hair. “It’s stupid, I don’t want to be rejected. It’s stupid.”

 

“You’re right about that. But it’s also not that stupid,” sighing, Hyosang thought about his options, about what the one behind him was offering. Being in a real relationship… he was a bit curious, but not enough. It was never enough for him to try for one, especially with his lifestyle. Nothing good would come from this, but it would help Hyunho, right? He was a bit weak in that department… It was a weakness and he knew, but when you don’t have a family or boyfriend or whatever, your friends are your most precious people. They became his family… his batshit crazy family, but it was still where he felt happy and at home. He would do anything to protect them, to make them laugh when they were sad, they were the most important thing to him.

 

Turning his head around, he gave Hyunho’s lips a quick kiss, just a way to say yes, we can try, yes, it’s crazy, but if it makes you happy, I’ll try this idea of yours.

 

Surprised, Hyunho smiled and closed his eyes. He knew he already got an answer, more than what he expected. For now, he would leave things as they were, and in the future, if it came to that, they would see how this could work.

 

“Thanks, dude. We will work this out, if it.. .you know… happens. Sleep well, Hyosang.”

 

Hyosang rolled his eyes but made himself comfortable in his arms. Well.. .they were nice arms… and nice body. He could admit that to himself, but that was it. He was content that he didn’t ask for something else.

 

“Stop being annoying and sleep… You’re so weird... “ A ghost of a smile appeared in his lips. Somehow… somehow the feeling was different from Hojoon. Different, but not unpleasant. Not at all.

 

 

_“I’m tired of being the only one always chasing after you”_

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I'M SO SORRY FOR UPDATING LIKE 1 YEAR LATER!!! I HAD NO IDEA!!! UGH 
> 
> One of my new year resolutions is to finish this fic... well, I don't know if that's possible, but I'll try to update every month or something? I want to finish the first half of it...
> 
> This chapter was supposed to be so much bigger but then I was already in page 15 and woah, that's a lot to me, so I decided to cut it.
> 
> I'll try to update another chapter this month, but I can't make promises. I have the feeling that I change the way I write quite a lot everytime I need to stop... uh...  
> 
> I also don't know what anyone expects from this but I feel like it's going to be a disappointment. Bah...
> 
> Well, enjoy!??


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